How ADHD Shows Up Differently In Women

Written By Paige jung

What Does ADHD Look Like In Women?

Women often go undiagnosed with ADHD since it shows up differently than it does in men. Men tend to be more outwardly hyperactive, while women are more likely to internalize their symptoms.

ADHD in adult women can look like:

  • Daydreaming or zoning out — You often drift off in thought, even during important conversations or tasks, and realize you missed what just happened.

  • Time Blindness — You struggle to sense how much time has passed or how long something will take, which leads to running late or underestimating how busy you really are.

  • Forgetfulness — You regularly lose track of what you were doing, misplace things, or forget important dates, even when you’re genuinely trying to stay organized.

  • Disorganization — You often feel like your environment or schedule is chaotic, and even when you try to organize things, they seem to unravel quickly.

  • Hyperfocus — You get completely absorbed in one task for hours, often ignoring everything else (like eating or responding to messages), even if that task isn’t the most important.

  • Emotional Dysregulation — Small frustrations can lead to big reactions, like snapping, crying, or shutting down, and it can feel hard to get back in control once emotions take over.

  • Rejection Sensitivity — You often assume people are upset with you, take feedback very personally, and replay social interactions over and over in your head.

  • Cognitive Inflexibility — When plans change or things don’t go as expected, you feel thrown off, stuck, or overwhelmed. It’s hard to mentally pivot or adapt quickly.

  • Internalized Hyperactivity — You might not appear hyper on the outside, but your thoughts race constantly, making it hard to rest, sleep, or stay present.

The Emotional Toll Of Being Undiagnosed

Since women internalize their symptoms more, ADHD is often missed or misdiagnosed as anxiety and depression. This constant misunderstanding can lead to

  • Self blame

  • Shame and isolation

  • Burnout from overcompensating

  • Low self-esteem

  • Low self-trust

Living for years without a misdiagnosis can take a huge emotional toll on someone.

Why Diagnosis Often Comes Late

From a young age, girls are socialized to be quiet, helpful, and compliant. As a result, girls with ADHD may not display the more disruptive behaviours often associated with boys. Instead, girls "mask" their symptoms and might…

  • Over-prepare - cover up disorganization and forgetfulness

  • Stay quiet when they are struggling - afraid to ask for help

  • Copy habits of other peers

For many women, an ADHD diagnosis doesn't come until adulthood and sometimes not until their 30s and 40s.

This kind of "masking" can only work for so long and may allow women to get by on the surface, but it often comes at the cost of mental health and energy.

How ADHD Counselling Can Help

For many women, ADHD counselling can be a huge life-changing step, especially after years of being ignored and misdiagnosed.

How can counselling help?

  • Identify and unlearn harmful beliefs

  • Get support for co-occurring conditions (anxiety, depression)

  • Develop tools to help with emotional regulation, focus, and time management

  • Work on self-trust and confidence

Whether you're newly diagnosed with ADHD or just starting to wonder if ADHD may explain some of your struggles, it is never too late to seek extra support

If you are looking for ADHD counselling, book a free 15-minute consultation today!

Paige jung
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