The belief “I am not good enough” is common among those who struggle with anxiety. This pervasive thought often feels like an unshakeable truth, leaving people feeling discouraged and uncertain. Even animated characters like Riley from Inside Out 2 deal with similar struggles, revealing how universal this experience can be. If you find yourself in this mindset, know that you are far from alone. With the support of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you can learn to challenge and reframe these limiting beliefs, gradually changing your inner narrative.

Here are five powerful steps I use with clients to help dispel the “not good enough” belief:

1. Define What "Good Enough" Means
   Start by asking yourself: What does "good enough" look like? Often, we hold ourselves to unspoken standards that may be difficult, if not impossible, to meet. Take time to reflect on what “good enough” really means to you. Write down the qualities you think a “good enough” person should have. Then, review this list and identify any traits that are overly demanding or unrealistic. Are you expecting yourself to be perfect, to never make a mistake? If so, remove them from the list. Sincerely, identify a definition of good enough that could be reasonably accepted. Clarity about what “good enough” means can be a powerful first step toward self-acceptance.

2. Identify Your Strengths and Achievements
   Most of us tend to overlook our strengths and focus on perceived shortcomings. Make a conscious effort to acknowledge your accomplishments and qualities. It may help to ask friends or loved ones for their perspective on your strengths—they might see things in you that you don’t. Remember that being kind to yourself can be a transformative practice. Recognize the parts of you that already meet your definition of a “good enough” person. There may be some areas where you already feel good enough.

3. Separate Personal Failings from Human Experiences
   It’s easy to misinterpret our challenges as personal failings. But many of the struggles you might face, such as setbacks or mistakes, are simply part of the human experience. Everyone, regardless of their accomplishments, faces difficulties and doubts. You struggle with doom scrolling not because you are not disciplined enough, but because social media is designed to be addictive and plays on human psychology. You struggle to manage your emotions because you are stressed out and overwhelmed, not because you are emotionally immature. Try to reframe self-criticism by reminding yourself that these challenges do not define you; they’re a shared human experience.

4. Consider What It Would Mean to Be “Good Enough”
   Think about what it would feel like if you truly believed you were good enough. Would it make you feel angry? Scared? Sometimes, the thought of feeling good enough can bring up uncomfortable emotions. This may be because the “not good enough” narrative has served as a protective mechanism, even if it’s ultimately unhelpful. To gain insight, complete the statement, “If I allow myself to feel good enough, then…” If the prediction is negative, then this is our work to change it so that you can finally allow yourself to be good enough.

5. Evaluate the Evidence
   Now it’s time to review the thoughts and feelings around this belief. Look for any patterns or inconsistencies. Ask yourself if there is any genuine evidence to support the idea that you are not good enough. This critical reflection can help you see your thought patterns more clearly and reveal any fears that may be keeping you from accepting yourself.

These steps can be challenging to navigate on your own. If you need help challenging the belief that you are not good enough, consider working with a therapist trained in anxiety counselling. Book a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about how we can work together toward knowing that you are good enough.